That title sounds a bit narcissistic now that I think of it. Oh well. Take me as I am. 😉
I took two days off, not necessarily because of a plan, but out of necessity. Life gets crazy sometimes, you know? I feel super overwhelmed, exhausted and emotionally “caput” for no very good reason. It just hits every once in awhile. I feel it’s part of my body and Braun regulating after cutting out sugar for 22 days, but also maybe some January blahs? Too much screen time and not enough play time. Too much running and not enough being. Too much much and not enough less. I’m feeling the need to cocoon in my house, so that is what we are doing today.
I tend to have bouts of feeling “done” like this. Just over stimulated and too busy. It sometimes manifests into depression or a mini nervous breakdown if I don’t catch it in time. Stress can feel like it’s snuck up behind me and tackled me to the ground. I just lie curled in the fetal position most of the time begging it to leave. As I grow as a person I learn that the fetal position is not always the best way to rid myself of stress, cope in the moment, sure, but not deal with it properly. I have learned my own little signs: becoming over emotional quickly, feeling exhausted and over tired after a normal busy day, feeling like no amount of sleep is ever enough, having this little hopeless voice ever present. I’ve learned this means I need to ground. In my faith, my home, my family, and my body. I need to connect less with my outside life and more with my inner circle. Learning when I need to say no, not right now, and maybe next time has been, and continues to be, an uphill battle for me. I love people and activity and love connection in all ways. This makes it easy for me to over extend and spread my energy too thin.
I fell asleep at 8:15 last night with Boy#1 and slept soundly until Hubs came in at 1:30. I got up to pee and cleaned up supper dishes, plugged in the dishwasher and went back to bed. But the damage was done. I lay awake for almost two hours trying to fall back asleep. Finally I drifted off. Snoring never bothers me until I can’t fall asleep. Poor hubs probably has some bruises from me elbowing him to roll over!
I woke up this morning at 7:30 feeling better but still wrung out. My plan was just to stay in and clean but I made the mistake of logging into Facebook and wasted two hours responding and reading and doing nothing. Then Boy#2 was restless so now we sit in the library and then head to pick up a few little things I missed on the grocery list Friday night. I finally made my meal plan this morning after shopping, lol. Bad idea. I will post the meal plan tonight along with my eats for the last two days.
For now we are off to run errands.