Communication is Key

Welcome to day 28!! Wow! Two days! I was very close to eating a piece of toast today. I did not! I’m so proud of me;) Just kidding!  I am grateful for this time. I feel I have really stuck to my guns. That is a good feeling. My next challenge begins February 1st. Our Zero Waste Challenge. I am embarking on this one with my determined and talented Sister-in-law Amanda, my wonderful Mother-in-law Tanya, and our families. The Hubs is not super thrilled about this one. The minute I said toilet paper was a pretty big part of our waste…well, I think I lost him there. I think I’m going to attempt to focus on one new way to reduce our personal waste each day. Check out my pins so far for a Zero waste month: https://www.pinterest.com/courdelia/no-waste-february/. Here is the post I am taking some inspo from:  http://www.zerowastenerd.com/p/30-days-to-zero-waste.html.  I am very excited to see where this takes us! Stay tuned!

I’ve had a couple of friends ask what happens with my food after day thirty. It is a great question! I have read many blogs about the Whole30 and the one I liked the most made a good point about finishing your whole30: You won’t want to. It feels scary. You don’t know how to incorporate non Whole30 in without going off the rails.  Whole 30 is meant to be a restart, a reset for your eating habits and your gut; not to be a permanent lifestyle. On January 31st I will be adding things back into my diet. Trying not to binge! I want to begin with adding in a few whole grains and probiotic full dairy (not cheese right away). I am excited to have a wee bit of chocolate;) I want to continue to eat paleo %80 of the time, it won’t happen every day, but I’m going to try and continue on my healthy path.

Today I slept in way too late! I woke up starving at 12:30 p.m. after dreaming about eating a hotdog with ketchup and telling myself it was okay. I woke up so angry and panicked that I’d broken my Whole 30 only two days away from completing! Whewf, I did not! I was super hungry though. This was breakfast/lunch:

We hung out at home for the afternoon, I did a few clients and by the end of the afternoon I was feeling exhausted again. Man, I just feel drained. I’ve got to find my equilibrium again. Gah. Oh well. My wonderful Hubs took up the gauntlet and went out to find food for dinner while I sprawled out in an exhausted stupor.  The sweetheart of a man went out and got a chicken, fries, salads and treats for the boys. My poor sweet Hubs tried so hard to find me food. He brought me rice pilaf and bulgar salad. He called me to asked what I wanted and I was so exhausted I couldn’t tell him any particulars . He tried so hard. He set the two grains in front of me with hope and I had to say I couldn’t eat them! I felt so bad. I ate a chicken breast and the remaining squash from last night. Then I snacked on mandarins, pistachios and two dates.

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I was sitting alone finishing my dinner. Exhausted still. Thinking about how this tends to happen. All on my own at the end of dinner with a table full of dirty dishes. These are the moments I need to put on my gratitude glasses and be thankful for food, family and the ability to sit at my table in the quiet while my Hubs cares for my boys. He is so good at getting our kids ready for bed while I’m still sitting trying to recoup my energy and finish my dinner.

After dinner we put a very overtired and angry three year-old to bed. He has been resisting going to sleep for the last week and had been up until past ten for three nights in a row. We would put him to bed before eight and he would be awake for at least two hours doing his own thing or screaming. Tonight we put him down at 7 and I sang to him until he finally stopped screaming and passed out.  Boy#1 was able to stay up and watch a movie with us to have some big boy time. We watched Storks on Google Play. It was an unexpectedly hilarious, heart warming, and beautiful movie!! Watch it. Watch it tonight! You will not regret it, well, as long as you are not a hard hearted hater of animated features I’m guessing you should not, but don’t hold me to that. At the end I looked at Hubs and said “You SURE you don’t want just one more!?” lol. Response: NO!

I did title this blog “Communication is key” I did that because I want to communicate with you,  and I made a personal effort to open communication with Hubs tonight. Communication has been a difficult learning curve for me. Not only in my marriage, but in my life in general. It takes mindfulness and courage for me to openly communicate my thoughts, feelings and needs to my Hubs and to others. Tonight I took a deep breathe and sat and just talked. It was so what I needed, and I hope it was something for him too. I needed to tell him how proud I am of his work, my desire to support him, my need to be heard, and my dream of being a team together in our daily life. This helped lift some exhaustion and made me feel connected again. Communication and vulnerability in marriage: two things I have highly underrated many times. I’m learning! Those counseling sessions are sinking in!

Tonight I took a progress pic early because my jeans felt loose (HUZZAH!) I think I feel the best I have physically in a long time. I feel exhausted and overexerted emotionally and mentally, but really strong and limber physically. It’s weird!

This past week has wrought a huge difference I think.

Anywho, I’m off to my cozy bed with my crisp duvet. Ready for church tomorrow, hopefully the snow is not too thick!

Cheers!

Court

 

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