You may have noticed, I did not write my blog yesterday. I fell soundly asleep at 8:45 (before the four year old) and did not wake until 7:00 a.m. this morning. That is how my late blogging nights catch up to me and bite my bum. I am now rested and ready to write again.
Yesterday was a day of feeling overwhelmed by how much needed done, and wanting to just rest with my family. I tried to do both. I think I accomplished a fair amount of each, as well as some self acceptance.
This is what was overwhelming me:
Four piles of laundry, clean and dirty each, summer clothes to be sorted into too big and too small, winter clothes still needing brought up and sorted, dirty kitchen, dirty bathroom, messy living room in disarray from removing the tv and all electronic screen devices, dirty walls and window sills and TOO MUCH STUFF! I become overwhelmed just having it all, and by the prospect of having to sort it. I was stressing out, feeling exhausted, and fighting a cold. All I wanted to do was sleep, but I knew Sunday was my ONLY day to do any of this until next Monday. I pulled up my big girl panties and went to work, until two sweet boys walked in and flopped on the bed trying to play and casting my neatly folded piles all over the room. I felt annoyed, I felt underappreciated, and then I felt guilty. I told them I needed space, I may have lightly growled. Boy#1 went for a bike ride, Boy#2 promptly broke down in tears over no screens and his father enslaving the television as his computer monitor for the week. I finished one pile of laundry, and took a break to console and engage our wee drama king. We played trains and read a book and then, when big brother came back, they played “Nintendo world” outside as the characters, and then built a fort behind my now un-purposed TV dresser.
I play trains mum
Luigi and Link
Our Secret hideout
A boy and his trains
I felt calmer. I finished up some laundry and we escaped the house to the Library, Butterfly park, and Grocery shopping. Where my overwhelmed state slipped away into calm (well, not at the store, there was some yelling and glaring at small heads during that episode) The park was so beautiful and I found myself staring out past the horizon of the lake and doing as I did as a child, trying to see the unsee-able land across the lake. Imagining the clouds to be land or that they are hiding land and ships. I felt so calm and serene.
After the adventure that is always grocery shopping, we headed home for dinner and bed. Apparently pork dumplings make me very tired, because I fell asleep directly and did not return to consciousness until this morning when two animated children woke me joyfully with the sun. They spoke of how they needed to improve on their secret hideout and what else they wanted to do today. Taking away screens for a week is creating a happier space when we are not suffering withdrawal symptoms or tired tantrums.
After sending both boys on the bus (sigh, still) I ran home to shower and head out for supplies in London. My friend accompanied me, as The Hubs is still recovering from a terrible man cold, and we had a wonderful time. Well, I did. He may say differently after having to stand in Cosmoprof for almost an hour. He was a good sport and was very helpful. I was able to procure enough supplies to last (I hope) about 100 heads. I also procured a new blow-dryer which I am beyond excited to try out. Lots of bright colours and some new products were purchased also. Hint, hint hint: I’m now broke and you should book some hair for late September:)
On the way home we stopped at this beautiful little shop in Lucan: Bella Casa It is a fabulous spot to find chalk paint and eclectic eccentricities. Like this gem that you should go purchase for me and then procure a dolly and truck to move:
Jokes, Jokes. seriously though, if you bring this to me I will swoon and die happy. Absolutely perfect for a sweet little barber shop or hair van! (Although I’d reach towing capacity on my chevvy just with it alone I’m sure. These babies are HEAVY! Quality stuff man)
After a fabulous day I came home, cut some hair, hung with some sweet boy-ohs, then made dinner. NEWS FLASH!!!! BOY#2 LIKES PORKCHOPS!!!! Hallelujah and thank you Uncle Allan!! He ate his entire chop tonight!
After dinner it was time for bed. This is where our day slides of the rails often. And tonight was a doozy of a derailing. Boy#1 is testing waters a lot lately (every year at the transitions he feels the need to re-establish boundaries) these testing moments tend to present most strong when bedtime is too late. We were half an hour late tonight and it showed majorly. It was very trying and my heart breaks to see him pushing so hard, and knowing that I need to respond with love but firmness. All I want to do is wrap him up and give him everything to make him happy, but I know that what he NEEDS is the solid boundary and the knowledge that he is still loved no matter how he behaves. I also know some behaviour needs to change. Discipline is exhausting, self discipline and re-enforcing it in our home. Tonight’s derailment ended finally at 9:00, firmly re-railed and chugging off to dream land. Now to stick to our guns and keep loving on him through this testing phase.
I was just discussing this with my friend today, how Boy#1 is so curious and has such a scientific mind. His curiosity must be fulfilled, even if it hurts him. This curiosity can be such a wonderful trait and tool, but sometimes it can land him in so much trouble. Today it was testing parental boundaries and love, but also involved green food dye earlier in the day. I found said dye on him, in my kettle and in my coffee mugs. Last night was “dough” made out of cornmeal, sugar and water, all over my entry shelf. Just because he needed to know how if he needed an egg for every dough. Satiating his curiosity can be exhausting too! But man I love him to bits!
Day one and two of screen fast have gone well, hopefully tomorrow goes well too. I’m off to dreamland myself.